The Path to Lasting Change Starts Within

The Path to Lasting Change Starts Within



We all have aspects of ourselves or our lives we want to improve. We may strive for overall health and well-being, reduce stress, have a career we love, or use our finances in a way that brings joy, wonder, and stability. But in the pursuit of transformation, we often focus solely on external behaviors and quick fixes. Real change that sticks comes from a deeper place – self-love.
The lifelong practice of self-love asks us to dig deep, face our shadows, and be patient with ourselves in the process. This hard yet rewarding work pays off with fulfillment unaffected by outer validation.

Person holding a mug with a flower

Self-love means accepting yourself just as you are, while also recognizing your great potential for growth. It comes from a belief that you are worthy and deserving of the life you desire. When you practice unconditional self-love, you are from a place of wholeness rather than lack. You build self-trust and self-respect. 

This foundation of self-love provides fertile ground for positive change to take root. When you know you are enough just as you are, you don’t attach your worth to particular outcomes. You can set goals and work towards them without being dependent on results to feel good about yourself. Disappointments or setbacks don’t destroy your self-image. You keep going with compassion for yourself.

Self-love encourages you to accept your inner critic. Those negative voices keep you stuck in the past and filled with self-judgment can rest now. Self-love quiets the inner critic and replaces self-doubt with encouragement. You believe in your inherent worth and capabilities. This motivates you to take inspired action. 

The acceptance cultivated through self-love gives you the patience needed for lasting transformation. Change takes time and conscious effort. Mindfulness helps you stay present in each moment without getting discouraged. Progress requires self-nurturing, not self-bullying. 

So build your foundation of self-love. Treat yourself with gentle kindness. See your beauty, value, and potential. Become your own best friend. With this grounding, you can weather any storm and continue growing into your best self. Any lasting change starts from within.

Obstacles That Get in The Way

There are a few key obstacles that can stand in the way of embodying self-love and living a meaningful life:

  • Childhood conditioning/trauma – Our early experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Negative messages or trauma can lead to feelings of unworthiness and make self-love difficult. Healing past wounds through therapy and mindfulness helps clear this barrier.
  • Societal pressures and messaging – Society often emphasizes external achievement over inner fulfillment. judgemental attitudes about how we should look, act, or live can erode self-love if we internalize those messages. Tuning out shoulds and embracing your authentic self defeats this. 
  • Fear-based thinking – Thoughts of not being good enough, fearing failure, or worrying about uncertainty are common traps. Self-love requires moving from fear to trust in yourself and your path. Having courage to take risks and self-validate defeats fear-based thinking.
  • Attachment to outcomes – Linking self-worth to measures of success like income, status, or compliments makes self-love conditional. Letting go of needing certain results to be happy and accepting all of your experiences nurtures unconditional self-love.
  • Habitual negative self-talk – Hearing and believing relentless inner criticism keeps self-love elusive. Noticing negative self-talk and intentionally cultivating supportive inner voices opens the door to self-love. 

Actions To Overcome Them

To live a meaningful life in alignment with self-love requires:

  • Getting to know your authentic self and values then aligning actions with them
  • Setting boundaries and shedding people/situations that diminish you
  • Daily practices like journaling, affirmations, and meditation to cultivate self-acceptance
  • Taking aligned action toward dreams without attachment to outcomes
  • Inner work to heal past trauma and replace fear-based thinking with trust

What Is Gained Through Self-Love Work

Meaningful relationships do start with you. Here are a few thoughts on why self-work is the foundation for fulfilling connections:

  • Know yourself first. Do the inner work to understand your core values, needs, desires, gifts and boundaries. Be grounded in your sense of self. Bringing self-awareness to relationships allows you to show up authentically.
  • Heal your wounds. Deal with any emotional baggage, childhood trauma, or abandonment issues with compassion. Don’t expect others to fill voids or complete you. Healed people attract healthy bonds.
  • Accept yourself fully. Practice radical self-love and acceptance exactly as you are. You’ll emit a wholeness that draws in quality connections versus seeking validation through relationships.
  • Speak your truth. Share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with vulnerability. The right people will reciprocate with openness, enabling intimacy to unfold.
  • Have healthy boundaries. Know your deal breakers and don’t compromise core values. Communicate needs clearly and leave situations that repeatedly cross your boundaries.
  • Take responsibility. Own your part in relationship conflicts rather than blaming others. Your empowered example can inspire self-responsibility in partners.

Practicing unconditional self-love transforms every sphere of life. When you fill your inner world with acceptance and compassion, the ePracticing unconditional self-love transforms every sphere of life. When you fill your inner world with acceptance and compassion, the effects ripple outward to uplift all of your experiences.  Self-love helps you set boundaries, speak assertively, and retain your sense of self in your relationships. You don’t get lost trying to be who others want you to be. You express your authenticity which attracts meaningful connections.

With self-love, you develop trust in your own wisdom. This empowers you to make aligned career and financial decisions, rather than choices based on status or compensation. You have the courage to take smart risks and create opportunities that are fulfilling, not just secure. Self-love liberates you from fears of failure and scarcity. When you love yourself, you become a wise caretaker of your health and well-being. Self-love motivates you to nourish your body with healthy foods, move it with enjoyable activity, and honor your need for rest. You don’t abuse your body anymore through neglect, addiction, or self-harm. 

In your spiritual life, self-love opens you to your innate wholeness. You feel connected to something greater, at peace with the present moment. Feeling loved from within calms fears about the future. Self-acceptance empowers you to contribute your unique gifts to the world. The most pivotal arena that self-love transforms is your relationship with your own mind. You become aware of negative self-talk and how to neutralize it. Rather than being tyrannized by your inner critic, you cultivate inner voices of encouragement. With self-love, you can enjoy your own company. When you make self-love a daily practice, you may be surprised by how much positive change unfolds. The peace and confidence within get reflected back through healthy, supportive relationships, a balanced lifestyle, and new levels of creativity and fulfillment. Self-love enhances all of life’s journeys. 

When you do the personal work first, you attract and co-create relationships that help you thrive and grow. Meaningful bonds start from within. The path of self-love allows you to live, love, and contribute to life more fully, purposefully, and authentically. Put in the inner work to clear what stands in your way. 

Tips To Starting Your Self-Love Journey

Here are some tips for starting a journey of self-love:

  • Set an intention to practice self-love and self-acceptance. Decide that you are worthy of love and make this a priority.
  • Identify activities that make you feel happy, peaceful, or fulfilled. Do at least one self-care activity daily that uplifts you.
  • Spend quality time alone. Explore activities you enjoy solo like journaling, walking in nature, or meditating. Get to know yourself.
  • Let go of people-pleasing. Say no to things that drain you to honor your needs. Follow your wisdom, not just others’ expectations.
  • Focus on self-nurturing. Eat healthy foods, move your body, get adequate rest, and address health issues proactively.
  • Immerse in nature frequently. Nature connection is calming and helps perspective. Even short outdoor breaks uplift.
  • Declutter your space. External clutter can mirror inner clutter. Organize your living space to reflect self-care.  
  • Seek support if needed. Join a support group, get guidance from, a life coach, or a therapist, or find an understanding friend to help you stay committed.
  • Celebrate all progress. Instead of judging yourself for missteps, praise every act of self-love, no matter how small.

Looking For Support?

Here are a few ways working with Alicia can guide you through rituals to reignite your heart’s truth:

  • Holds compassionate presence – Alicia brings genuine presence and compassion to her coaching. This caring energy helps put you at ease to connect to your deepest truths.
  • Introduces heart-centered practices – Alicia shares ritual practices like mantras, breathwork, and meditation designed to open your heart space and reveal truths waiting within.
  • Asks powerful questions – Alicia has a gift for asking questions that cut to the heart of the matter and unearth ah-ha moments of clarity.
  • Challenges limiting beliefs – Alicia gently challenges stories, assumptions or paradigms that may limit you from your heart’s potential.  
  • Provides heart-based perspective – Alicia offers a perspective grounded in the wisdom of the heart rather than just the intellect. This brings intuitive insights.
  • Supports self-acceptance – Alicia helps guide you to embrace all aspects of yourself – light and shadow. This radical self-acceptance lets your authenticity shine.
  • Encourages aligned action – Alicia empowers you to translate your heart truths into aligned daily practices and inspired action steps.
  • Holds space for integration – Alicia allows space to integrate shifts into your life in sustainable ways through ongoing coaching.


Working with Alicia creates an opening to go inward and tap into the power and wisdom within your heart. If you feel disconnected from your purpose and passion, Alicia can skillfully guide you back home. Check out her current offerings if you are curious to learn more about how to courageously embark upon your self love journey. You don’t need to grow through life alone. In community we heal.

Want to work with me 1-on-1? My goal is to make a connection with you and help you make a decision you feel great about. Schedule a discovery call.

Learn more about my coaching approach and modalities. 


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